Are Your Feet Gross and Disgusting Too?

A decade ago, a guy in Arkansas who called himself the "toe suck fairy" was arrested for soliciting women at malls. Well, he's probably frustrated right about now. The jury is in: my feet are officially offensive. But before I get my first pedicure in nearly a year, I'm exfoliating the hell out of my feet with Baby Foot ($25). There's a reason this chemical peel for your feet is always sold out and has racked up over 35,000 reviews on Amazon. It works! In less than a week, you'll shed a pile of dead skin thanks to the power of fruit acids. My feet should start molting in about three days, so DM me if you want proof in a NSFW picture. This isn't my first Baby Foot party, so I can attest to its efficacy. (Pro tip: soak your feet in the solution for more than an hour.) The end result? Foot fetishists will follow you around Best Buy.

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