Family Isn't Everything

You're not alone. Family ain't easy. Up until my 40s, I pined for idyllic holiday gatherings where we all merrily cooked together and high-fived in the kitchen. Um, that never happened for a variety of reasons, from geographical challenges to strained relationships. (According to a recent study, about 25% of people live with an estrangement in their family.) What I eventually learned is that I can love my family--and I do!--without expecting them to act like my friends. Meaning, pals don't trigger us to regress back to our brooding teens or to defend our recollections of childhood. Our friendships are deep, for sure, but rarely are they as intimate or historical as our relationships with immediate family. Perhaps that's, in part, why research shows that strong, reliable friendships are more important to our health and happiness as we age than family bonds. (Don't tell grandma.)

---